yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
this beer tastes like vomit already
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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