curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
