I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
