I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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