I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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