So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
