I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
