He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
love makes seman taste better
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
