The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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