On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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