I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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