It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
