I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
