Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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