Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
