Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
