I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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