WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
