Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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