My room smells like vodka and shame
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
