Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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