can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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