WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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