I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
