Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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