They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
