I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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