oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
