Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize