it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
