hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
