I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
zippers are such a cool invention
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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