I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
