he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
