I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize