I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize