I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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