Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
