Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
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People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
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Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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