Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just blew my weed a kiss
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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