Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
