I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
