I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
