I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
