What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
