She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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