I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
