I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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