so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
