there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
