There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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