I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
