your parents love me but you hate me
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize