You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It's never too late to be topless.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
