hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
