I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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