So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
