Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
