so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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