real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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