Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
