Dual....:-)
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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