Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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