I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?