it wasn't lemon gatorade
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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