there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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