You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you traded sex for a burrito?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
