is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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