Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
