i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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