Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize