I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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