singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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