Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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